i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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