I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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