I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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