I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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