eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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