Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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