Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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