theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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