barbara walters just said penis...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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