I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
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Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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