Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize