i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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