Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize