My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My vagina just recognized that song.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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