I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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