I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize