hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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