i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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