Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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