you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize