i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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