Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They took my balls.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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