I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize