Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Banned from zoo.
Again?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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