Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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