The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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