She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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