Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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