I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
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