The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize