You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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