I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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