if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize