yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize