As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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