I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize