I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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