please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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