I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Blood and glitter go together right?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
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Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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