She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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