do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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