She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize