So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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