Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
there is glitter all over my balls
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize