When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize