My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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