I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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