It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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