he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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