My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize