Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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